The People's Market.

Docklands has always gotten a bit of a bad rap from Melbournians. "There's nothing there", they'd moan. "It's a ghost town", bitched the others. And I must admit for a while I was somewhat on their side, despite the fact that I thought conceptually Docklands was awesome.

That's all changing though ladies and gents, with an injection of some much needed Melbourne personality into the area. The People's Market has set up shop and although still in its infancy, provides some much needed edge to the waterfront suburb.

Driving down Docklands Drive, it was fairy easy to find (and central, which is a definite leg up over say, Camberwell Market) but a little bit scary. My Hyundai Getz rattled along the gravel road, feeling dwarfed as we traversed underneath the Bolte Bridge. Yes, directly underneath, with great big stones, abandoned warehouses and grasslands to keep us company. It was interestingly sparse and, well, very in line with what one has come to expect from Docklands, but all the same I appreciated the ample and cheap parking on site. That, in itself, runs rings around the Victoria Market. So, tick for convenience.

Jumping out of my car, I suddenly became hyper aware of my camera, 50mm f/1.4 lens attached. Markets, especially ones teetering on the 'shabby chic' end of the scale, attract hipsters like sharks to blood. And here I was, playing right into their palm. I ignored the urge to seek out the nearest chai soy latte. But I was pleasantly surprised at the crowd. Plenty of young families, plenty of twenty somethings and a healthy sprinkling of middle aged market veterans.

Being able to see Melbourne's docks from the site, it seemed fitting that the entrance of the market is decorated (adorned?) with great big shipping containers, a theme that continues throughout the space. The market is set up into two sections; a courtyard boasting some of Melbourne's best street food in restyled shipping containers (it's like what would happen if Section 8 and The Taco Truck had babies) and then aisles of second hand/flea goodness.

Going by Tessa time, it was early in the morning (12pm) and I was desperately seeking a coffee.  The League of Honest Coffee had me covered. Although, on second thought, having the word "honest" in a business name is like a greasy haired second hand car saleman telling me to trust him. 

My naive, trustful nature was rewarded however, with a perfectly extracted and textured latte, sweetened by cafe staff that were unpretentious and helpful. Kudos.

There was a great selection of food on offer, including $5 Grill'd burgers, paella, tacos/burritos, hot dogs, those twisty potato things and noodles, with a focus on fresh, relatively healthy foods. The market is licensed, letting the creators of St Jerome's Laneway festival, prop up a portable Thousand Pound Bend bar. Bring on the sangria and beers!

On to the (arguably) more important stuff, SHOPPING!

Plenty of vintage garb for those who watch too much Mad Men, but also plenty for those who love to play the voyeur, trawling through people's unwanted goods. Feel no shame, fellow dumpster divers, for at the People's Market, there were many treasures to be found. I loved that - a flea market that was true to its name.

Above, the creepiest toy I have ever seen. It just rode around in circles on its little bike. Again. And again. And again. Until it decided you were pissing it off at which point it got off its quaint little tricycle and stabbed you in the calf. 

I should also mention that the organisers put together some fantastic live music which gave the former carpark space a softer, cushiony feel. Adam Eaton literally put a tear in my eye, unusual for twangy acoustic rock but his voice just...ahhh. I think it reminded me too much of Firefly. And if you haven't heard of Firefly the TV show well, until you find out what it is, we can't be friends... 

 Check him out at adameatonmusic.com.

The fresh produce section of the market, although small, held some nice surprises. Flowers beautiful enough to brighten anyone's day, cheap veggies and from what I could see, a wine stand that was very liberal with their samples. 

So get down there people.

The People's Market at Docklands is on Docklands Drive literally under the Bolte Bridge.

They are open Saturdays from 10am, and the best bit is, the courtyard with the food and drinks stays open late!

Stay peachy!

www.peoplesmarket.com.au

Von Follies by Dita von Teese for Target

Look, it's going to be really difficult for me to not spend this entire blog post salivating over what a goddess Dita Von Teese is. Her stage presence makes Robin Williams look like a wallflower and the way she exudes femininity basically makes my ovaries explode. Gorgeous, with a penchant for danger (her relationship with Marilyn Manson, am I right?) her self made success puts her in excellent stead as an 'alternative' role model.

Moving on...

The appearance of Von Teese drew a refreshing crowd to Central Pier. We were treated to old world glamour- tailored pieces and structural lines that, unbeknown to us, would mimic Von Teese's collection. 40's hairstyles were abound, many throwing caution to the wind, combining their lacquered look with fabulously coloured locks - fire engine red, fairy floss pink, I think I even saw sky blue on one girl. It was rockabilly for the modern day - women celebrating their shapes, without being demure.

Dat Corset.

Dat Coat.

Dat Suit. 

Dat Skirt.

Dat WHOLE OUTFIT!

So yes, success all round for the festival goers.

As the time trundled closer to 8.30, I wandered over to the press entrance. You know, whatever, I had a Media Pass, no biggie. KDGJSDGJLVLMSHQIFJKL.
 I was excited. I was even more excited when I turned around and none other than JOSH FLINN from Australia's Next Top Model was behind me.

I had a total geek out, nearly cried, and refused to take a photo with him. First world success? I think so.

 He was so tiny in real life, he looked as if he should have had a FRAGILE sticker plastered across his forehead. A little frail man, in an astounding leopard print blazer - could anyone have blamed me if I'd tore it off his back? I don't think so.

 Once seated, (without a gift bag, sob, although we had conspired to steal one), I had a good forty minutes or so to consider my circumstances - the show was going to be fashionably late. 

Here I was. Media Pass around my neck, lauded journalists to my right, noses buried in their smart phones, soaking up The Bourne Book. I was about to see Dita von Teese in the flesh. The dress I was wearing was amazing. I knew I could actually afford the designs I was about to see, rather than having to stick pictures of them on my wish board. Bloody fantastic.

And then the show began.

There Dita was, strutting to a brassy big band soundtrack, sauntering down the runway. The woman knows how to pack a punch. She worked every inch of that runway, hips swaying, as she pumped her Christian Louboutin's (and the crowd) into a frenzy.

As I said earlier, Von Teese brought something new and visceral to LMFF. Never have I seen a fashion crowd so engaged. That could have just been the girls in skimpy underwear, but when there's wolf whistles and cheering throughout the show, you have no choice but to imagine that the Dita brand is taking off. There is no shame in vamping it up and this 'vintage for the modern era' is certainly beginning to resonate.

 Black lace, leather gloves, whips (all taken from Von Teese's personal collection) adored the models, who were of all shapes and sizes. All of them looked fabulously confident. 

The designs themselves were stunning, fit for any wannabe burlesque star (or ringmaster). 

I left feeling satisfied, albeit never wanting to see another model's thinly veiled ass again.  The collection gave off a sense of luxury coupled with accessibility. Von Teese is a fantastic saleswoman. 

Von Follies by Dita von Teese is available at Target.

Von Follies and more

It's coming boys and girls, the first night of coverage of L'Oreal Melbourne Fashion festival, with segments such as 'Bemused or Aroused Male Audience Members - You Choose' and 'Who Do I Have to Kill to Get my Hands On That Outfit?'.

Yes, it was a night where I couldn't decide if I wanted to take myself and the entire carnival (circus?) seriously. And that internal vonflict (...oops, conflict) has left me longing for sleep itself. Tomorrow, my pretties, tomorrow!

Big fat air kisses to you all.

MWAH

Tribes by Nina Raine

Hey blogettes,

On my continuing journey down the rabbit hole that is the Melbourne theatre scene I found myself seated next to a man that smelt decidedly like mothballs in MTC's gorgeous Sumner Theatre.

Shaking off the urge to douse the man in my glass of red wine (vinegar vs mothballs, I think vinegar wins...just. Although I did have to deal with the smell of souring wine on my 14 hour plane ride to Abu Dhabi last September, but that is a story for another time!) I settled in for the production of "Tribes".

As the lights came up we were confronted with an open plan set, a kitchen table, a couch, a fridge. There were also building materials scattered upstage, witches hats and temporary fencing, giving off the idea that perhaps this family was not as complete as the characters would have us believe.

The tribe is an intellectual, bourgeois family, showing their love through argument, rationality and writing. Their arguments revolve around language and its inadequacies, fitting considering they have a deaf son, Billy. Billy has been raised to be "hearing", that is, not taught sign language, but to lip read and speak, out of the fear that his identity would revolve around his deafness.

The first act was strong, and the writing so witty, one line has been deemed my quote of the night. The patriarch of the family, played by Brian Lipson, declares that listening to a Northern speak is like, "Being fucked in the face by a crab!". For it to be funny, you need to imagine a 60 year old Russell Brandt delivering the line. Gold.

Although conflict defines this family, almost to the point of melodrama, the turning point in the play comes when Billy meets Sylvia. She, unlike Billy, was born into a deaf family, and is now, courtesy of a hereditary condition, going deaf herself. Sylvia guides Billy into the deaf community and it is here he finds his voice.

The metaphors are stretched very thin in Nina Raine's second production. Billy's sister, whose name escapes me, is a fledgling opera singer and their older brother, Dan, is slipping into psychosis, the type where auditory hallucinations are involved. Billy's empathetic mother is in the midst of developing a detective novel. Cool, we get it, everyone has a voice, but of course we want them to shut up when it's being broadcast at 8006043 decibels.

The second act unravelled so quickly, so many life changing events happen to our characters and we're going from one situation to the next without being able to process the outcomes or consequences. And neither can our characters, and at this point the performance began to lose authenticity. The heart felt scenes between Sylvia and Billy, where they combine sign and vocals to communicate were beautiful, and the usage of onstage screens to act as "translators" added humour. The climactic scene in which Billy confronts his family was also beautiful. Alison Bell, as Sylvia, delivers a performance so nuanced, so heart breaking and so genuine that she saved the second act for me. 

Tribes was more relevant to me than Summer of the Seventeeth Doll and I did enjoy the cracking dialogue. I feel that if the script was refined a little more, with elements being removed (the unnecessary moving stage that added nothing...), this play could be a real ripper.

***1/2

Sylvia and Billy

The three siblings

MTC Promotional Image

All images are owned wholly by MTC